Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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