What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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