I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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