So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
