I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
