I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
