This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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