Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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