Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
