I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
