We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
