playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
