Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
