Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
