Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
