the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
