i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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