In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
