There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
