i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
