He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
