if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
