I'm going to jail i love you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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