Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
