i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
