He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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