Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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