I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
