she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
