What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
