Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Randomize
