it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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