i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Two words: blizzard sex
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
