I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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