i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she woke up with a sticky ear
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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