my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
