i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
