Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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