I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
