Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
