you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
