dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize