i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
