Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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