Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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