She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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