**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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