Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
