I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
