Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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