Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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