where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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