That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
