dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
