I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
should my penis look like a turkey
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
