im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
