Kiss
Puke
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
