You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize