ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
