Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I could make wine with my vomit
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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