Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
