that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
