You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
