Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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