I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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