the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
