A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
