i'm signing you up for texting rehab
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
