Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
