I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
