I just cut my nipple shaving
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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