Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
