all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
